R.I.P Nello Marconi. I will never forget you.

You know how they have those little reminders on Facebook about your friends' birthdays? Well, on January 7th I went to write on my friend Nello's wall. I was looking at it expecting to see a bunch of "Happy Birthday bro", stuff like that. Instead I found "R.I.P". I called our friend Lillian and found out that he had died. I contributed to the R.I.P on the wall and wished him well in Heaven.

Turns out he went out drinking one night with some friends, pretty heavily I might add. He and a friend went down to the pier and jumped off into the water. His friend swam ashore, but Nello didn't. They found his body the next day. I was stunned when Lillian told me about this.

He moved out to San Diego a few months ago for his job, I knew it was going to be a while before I saw him again, but I never thought that something like this was going to happen. Nello was a person who once you met him, you just fell in love with him. He would instantly become a part of your life that would be hard to let go of. Personally, I was extremely fond of him. I just wish that he had been more careful, and that he was still around. There are so many people who miss him and are just completely heartbroken that he's gone. I also wish that I had spent more time with him before he moved to San Diego.

I love you Nello. There was something about you that just got to me. I miss you, and I will never forget you. I know that you'll never know that now, but it's still worth it for me to say.

R.I.P Nello Marconi. May you lay in the sun on the beaches in the sky, keeping a close watch over your family and friends, protecting us and showing us how you will always be here. You will always be a part of us. We love and miss you.

January 7, 1981 - December 9, 2007

random, but exhilerating

I went camping in West Virginia this past weekend with Kent. I had so much fun. It makes me sorry that we didn't start hanging out earlier, he's only here for another week. I saw some of the most beautiful mountain tops and views.

Rock climbing was by far my favorite part. I've never felt such a rush! Talk about being pumped. I took so many pictures, unfortunately my camera doesn't want to load so I don't know when I'll be posting them for the rest of the world to see.


Eddie invited me to go on a 10-day cruise with him this year, we leave the day after Christmas. Oh I'm so excited! We're flying into Ft. Lauderdale and boarding a ship headed to Key West, Guatamala and the Virgin Islands. I can't wait.

Hannah and I are headed to NYC on Aug. 25 just for the hell of it. That's going to be exciting. Don't know how long we're staying, but then again, it doesn't really matter.

Party this weekend. I really hope I'm not the DD again. I'm looking to get trashed!

I'm so happy!

I almost dropped everything I had in my hands when I saw Danny was calling me last Friday. I couldn't believe it! I was so shocked and excited. I mean 3 years passed and we hadn't said two words to eachother.. It made me so happy.

We sat for 4 hours and talked. It didn't even seem that long, we had so much to talk about. It wasn't like one of those get togethers where you don't have much to say, I mean we literally talked to eachother for 4 hours.

This is the first time I've been 100% happy since January of 2005.

I can't wait to see him again. I love him so much.

I'm alone and no one understands.

I want Aunt Ian and I to hang out more often. I want Hannah to come to Virginia. I want Liv to stop spending so much time with Turner and hang out with me for a change. I want Chris and I to be able to hang out and have fun, go to Great Falls, go camping, go to the beach, have sex when we want to and not when we don't and not have to worry about anything the way that we are now. I want Flather to call me just to hang out instead of calling me for weed or money, I want Stephanie to come home from Boston because I miss her so much and I have so many things to tell her. I want to be happy when I hang out with Joe. I want to "Uh oh in the backseat" and "sit down" with Lukas. I want Danny to forgive me. I want to go back to the times when nothing mattered, and no one had any problem that was bigger than knowing if they were going to get an assignment turned in on time.

Is everything that seems to be going wrong at the moment my fault? Is the reason Chris doesn't want to keep things the way they were because of something I did? Is the reason Hannah keeps ignoring my calls because of something I said? Is the reason Liv would rather hang out with Turner than with me because of something she thought she noticed? Is the reason Danny hasn't talked to me in two years because of the decision I made? Is the reason Stephanie and I never talk about anything but how much we hate Flather because that's all we have in common? Is the reason Aunt Ian and I never see eachother because Kaelyn has turned him against me? I feel like everything is my fault. It's my fault Hannah and I don't talk. It's my fault Liv and I don't hang out. It's my fault Chris and I have changed. It's my fault Danny has this ball of hatred towards me. I feel like it's my fault that Stephanie and I have nothing in common anymore. I feel like Flather and I should have kept walking when we saw eachother. I regret stopping and talking to him.

I have no idea what's wrong with me. I feel like everyone hates me, and no one wants to be around me. I even feel like Alex hates me. The problem with all of this is that I think I know subconsciously that no one does. Flather has a lawyer to answer to. Danny can't deal with the decision we made anymore than I can. Liv is hopelessly in love with Turner. Hannah is there, but can't talk when I need her. Stephanie is in New England with the whole college thing going on. Aunt Ian is wrapped up in school and hockey. Chris has deep emotional problems that I think are the reason that everything suddenly changed. Joe has changed so much from being hundreds of miles away that I don't think we could ever be the same. It seems with Lukas, he would rather work and be in school than hang out with me or any of his other friends.

I don't understand anything anymore. My friends mean so much to me that if I ever lost any one of them, I don't know that I would be able to go on living. I know that I become too attached to people and that that's NOT a good thing. But I don't know any other way to be. This is me and this is who I am. Everyone of my friends has a piece of my heart... some have a bigger piece than others... and when they do something to change the way we are they break that piece. It falls and shatters like broken glass. It hurts and I fall into this deep dark place that only a few people know about and even they don't understand it. I don't even understand it.

I need help understanding myself.

Nothing helps...

I'm starting to learn the feeling of that can't eat, can't sleep kinda thing when you feel so much for someone but they feel very little or nothing for you. It hurts.

I couldn't sleep last night.. basically cried myself to sleep and then woke up every few hours just wondering... I wanted to cut myself.. I was so close. I held back because I knew the people that I care about most would hate me.. They don't understand.

I can't have him.. he's in love with her and I'm left out like a penny in the rain and no one cares. I can't say anything for the fear that I will lose everything that we have now.. which isn't much. There's no one to talk to because no one knows what's really going on. I put on this face that everything in my life is good, even when it's not. I don't want to bother anyone with wanting to talk about it because I fear that they won't hear me or won't care.

It's like I'm in this corner and all the walls are closing in around me.. I scream but no one hears me. No one can hear the pain that I feel. I can't deal with it.. So I isolate myself, but still it doesn't help. Nothing helps.

I don't want to hurt like this, it's something that's very hard for me to deal with. I have issues with change, and the outcome has proved before to not always be good.

more trouble than it's worth

After replacing the radiator I thought my car was in good condition... wrong again! Now I need to replace the water pump. I've never really had any trouble with this car. Other than people hitting me and not leaving notes... I still have to get a new motor for the lock on my door. All together it's probly gonna run me... 700$ or more. This car is really more trouble than it's worth at the moment. Maybe my tax return can help me out a bit... supposidly I'm getting around 800$ back.

Chase called the other day. It was surprising because I really didn't talk to him all that much when we were working at Merrifield. Apparently him and Btippy are good friends and were hanging out one night talking about all the people they liked from Merrifield and my name came up. Good, I guess. He wants me to come visit him at Tech. I might. The three of us should get together sometime.

I went to the mall with Jeremy and Brian the other day. I swear I saw Danny. I was getting off the elevator, I could have killed Brian for dragging me on that thing, and I saw this guy who looked exactly like him. It was really weird, and amazing how I have such a good memory of how he looks considering I haven't seen him in 2 years.

I should call him... Then again, that might not be such a good idea...

I'm feeling better

I had my surgery and everything is going pretty good. I was really tired Monday and Tuesday and taking a lot of Percocet. Tuesday night it made me sick. Then I didn't eat Wednesday or Thursday, then Friday I started eating and feeling a bit better. It's Sunday now and I'm feeling a lot better. I'm hoping I will feel well enough to go out soon because I'm so tired of sitting at home! Right now the only problems I'm having is my throat hurt like hell when I wake up in the mornings, other than that it's not so bad dealing with the pain.

Thursday my cousin came down. It made me so excited! She's never come down and she really surprised me. The funny part was when she was on the phone with me and started freaking out because she got on 495 and saw 5 lanes of traffic. The interstate in Pennsylvania only has 2 lanes.

Then I had a few visitors while I've been sick. Chris has come by just about everyday, he's so sweet. He brought me a "get well soon" card and a little bunny. Yesterday he actually stayed at my house and watched a movie with me! Livia came by Thursday as well, she brought me a purple Primrose. It has a little "I Love You" balloon. :) It made me smile.

stuck...

Went to Mike's for a party last night. Drinking, hot tub, you know.. the usual. It was really cool. It started snowing sometime after 5 this morning and there's already like 5 inches! It sucks cause i was trying to go home but Eddie can't get his car out, so I'm stuck here till Dad gets off work and comes to pick me up.

Tonsil surgery is tomorrow! I'm excited that I will finally have no more problems with them, but at the same time I'm really scared. For anyone who reads these things, you already know this. My cousin couldn't make it down, so she said she would come down sometime next month to make it up to me. That I'm excited for.

Livi's coming home!!!

So Livia left me a comment on my myspace page yesterday that said she was coming home today! I'm so excited! I missed her so much. We are going to spend so much time together and catch up on so many things. She better have lots of pictures to show me from her trip.

I'm so excited!! Can you tell?

Lunch with Lukas

Lukas and I are finally hanging out, for the first time in what seems like forever. It's been so long, I can't even remember when we hung out last. I can't wait, I'm so excited... There's so much that we need to catch up on. I need to vent, and I know he will be there to listen.

Chris and I were talking last night, and apparently he knows about that "thing" that I never tell anyone. He said he figured it out from one of my surveys I did and he'd known for months. My question is how? The only bulliten I remember posting that had anything to do with it was at the beginning of this month, I don't remember the other one. At least the good thing is that he's not going to disappear because of it. That was always my biggest fear... That someone would find out about it and not want to be around me because they didn't support the decision I had made or for some other unknown reason. I really appreciate that, and it means a lot to me.

I need to talk to Michelle too. She knows more about what I need to talk to Lukas about than most anyone does. I love talking to them, we laugh and make jokes about everything, so if I'm having a rough time with anything then we can get through it together. Speaking of which, I need to go get ready to have lunch with Lukas...

Later than expected

For the past two weeks Livia has been in California and Arizona with her dad - part of her graduation present. I was asked to go with her, but couldn't afford it. I've missed her so much, and I have so much to tell her when she comes home! Nothing exciting really, just the stuff that Livi and I usually talk about.

She was due to come home today. Then we were going to spend the entire day together Sunday, nothing but stupid ideas and crazy talk. Due to an unfortunate event, she fractured her tailbone and won't be home till next week sometime. It kinda ruined my weekend, not really cause I still have plans, but it sucks that she's not coming home.

Livia's the one who promised to go with me to my surgery, if she doesn't make it home by then I have no main source of comfort and stability. Nothing will keep me from freaking out while I'm in the hospital. Then, Michelle said she would go with me, but it's a school day for her... Don't really think it's possible. No one else can really go, Dad works and I don't think Mom would be able to get up that early, so I'm kinda relying on my friends.

Well, I hope Livia recovers quickly and gets home. We have a lot to catch up on.

I'm having surgery!

So I found out like a week ago that I have to have my tonsils taking out. At first I was like, ok this is going to be a piece of cake. Then they started telling my about what was going to happen and what I should expect - I started getting scared. It's now a week and a half until my surgery and I can't stop thinking about it.
I've talked to Audrey, who had her adenoid's removed. She said it hurt like hell but it was all worth it. She didn't get sick from the anestesia or anything, she was just groggy and her throat hurt. I'm hoping that's what I will be like. The thing I'm really scared about is not waking up from the anestesia. I know it's a one in a million thing, but this is the first thing I'm having done where they put me under.
I'm making sure that the next post I write is after my surgery, so even I know I'm ok. :)

For anyone who reads this and cares, please wish me luck.

It's Christmas once again... I didn't really get anything that I asked for. The two things that I wanted were a laptop and and emergency roadside car kit. Anyway... I got a blender, and silverware set and some bathroom mats. Plus some new clothes and jewlery. Guess people know me pretty well.
I have to say, however, that my favorite gift - next to the most exciting ( which was the digital camera) was Alex's gift to me. He knows that I love to write so he got me two notebooks and a set of pens. I love him, he knows me better than anyone I think. Probly cause he sees me on a weekly basis. I see Chris more often than that and I don't think he even knows me as well as Alex.
Haven't really gotten anything from friends, (not including Alex's) well other than Stephanie. She got me a game called Compatability. It's a game where you try to match cards to a specific topic in the same order as someone else. It's really fun and entertaining. It's the best thing for us considering that we always play the same games - consisting of Life, Scrabble, and Sorry- when we hang out.
Livia and I are trying really hard to get a house (this is where the silverware, blender, and bathroom mats fall into play) with Alex and possibly another person. It might take a little longer than expected however because Dad wants us to move into Grandma's house, which needs a lot of work to be done. Don't know how long that one is going to take, no longer than just to March or April I'm hoping.

Merry Christmas to anyone that reads this. I'm really not sure if anyone does because I've never gotten any feed back from it. I guess you guys could leave messages for me at www.myspace.com/fsufan1523.

Practice makes perfect

This week is all graduation practice. Thursday was the last day for seniors so everyone was so excited. During practice we do this routine thing where we walk out and then go down by the gym and flip our orderd and come back in and sit down, which doesn't make any sense to me because we're not going to do it at Constitution hall. Mind boggling, I know. It's ok though, and totally worth it because I'm graduating and will never have to go back to that school again. I can't wait 'till Thursday, DAR Constitution Hall is my destination, my final destination. After graduation I'll probly go to Mike's house then head to the all night grad party around 10:30 or so.

Ignored

I feel so ignored and lonely, like I have no one to talk to. I don't know what to do because nothing seems to help, my life has no point. I'm useless, I'm a waste, I take up space but seem to go unnoticed. If I killed myself I don't think anyone would notice, no one would care. My boyfriend won't even talk to me! He's the one I care about the most, he's the one I live for. If it wasn't for him I'm not sure I would be here right now. He won't talk to me, no one will talk to me. I want to feel better, but nothing helps. I don't want medicine to make me feel like I want to, I want to feel it all on my own.
Everything's going bad, my grades suck and even with doing everything to bring them up nothing helps. My world is slowly spinning out of control, I'm slipping a little more everyday. Suicide seems like the only answer; take drugs and drink, hang myself, shoot myself. Anything would be better than the life I'm living now. I would do whatever it takes for people to care, to be noticed. To have my boyfriend pay just a little more attention to me, to know that he cares, to know that he loves me. To know that he loves me the way that I love him, to be there for me now, when I need him, when I need someone.
Someone please help me. Let me know there is someone out there that cares about me. Tell me what to do to get over the way I feel, to get back in a place in my life that I can trust someone. That I know nothing bad will happen to me. I need to know that everything is going to be ok, I need to know that. I need to be ok.

small school, BIG heart!!

Yes, that's right, Marshall Statesmen basketball made it to the VSHL final four! I couldn't believe it either, I think basketball is the only sport we accel in. Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, Va was home to the Statesmen last night, we rocked the house!
It was amazing! We played against Booker T. Washington but unfortunately lost in those few final seconds. We fought hard and the crowd was supportive, but it just wasn't enough for our guys to pull out a victory. :( Everything's ok though, there's always next year. And with the current and alumni students, they will have all the support they need. Good luck to the Marshall Statesmen!
small school BIG heart

If I left...

If I killed myself, if I left tomorrow, would anyone care? I feel like I'm slipping into this unknown world, everything is spinning around me at a speed unknown to man. I want to escape but don't know how. I want to get away but don't know where to go. I feel like cutting myself isn't going to do anything, not this time, it's too deep. I can't talk to you, you wouldn't understand, no one would understand. No one cares, no one knows and no one cares. Things I want in my life aren't happening fast enough, I have chances to accomplish what I want, but don't. I can't do it alone, I have no one to do it with, what is happening to me? I'm not crazy, it's just no one understands. I need a shoulder to cry on, will Lukas be there? I need to escape, can Kae and Palumbo help? I need to have fun, would Ian be able to fulfill my need for happiness?
If I killed myself tomorrow, no one would notice. No one would care and they would go on with the pety activities in their lives. Would anyone stop and think, where's Jessica? No, that would be too much to ask for, to much for them to believe that something was wrong. Something that they didn't see, something no one could help with. It's coke that I need, coke and weed will solve everything. Hard core drugs will solve everything, in time everything will be ok once again.

Patrick Ramsey and the "Newest" slut in the school!

Nothing really interesting has happened to me lately... but I'll go with what I've got.
Mashoobie, Aunt Ian, Empress KaeKae, and I are all going to see "wing man" take on Heritage at Reston Skatequest Friday night. It's gonna be kick ass. Go Panthers!I went with Maynard last week, but they lost to Broad Run. I swear that this one family had a kid that had Elephentitus in his feet! It was so funny! This game should be better, Heritage really sucks.
Last Friday was when Empress KaeKae, Palumbo and I decided to make Carlos believe that I had been missing for 3 weeks and that I was having Patrick Ramsey's baby. Here's what happened. We told him that I had "disappeared 3 weeks ago and no one had talked to me since. Then when Carlos finally got ahold of me I told him that I was on my way to Floriday with Maynard to see the game. Palumbo was with us in a three way call, so he started "crying" because he thought I was cheating on him with Maynard. I tried to convince him otherwise but he hung up on us. Then Carlos tried to make everything better by telling me it would be okay, but that I shouldn't turn to drugs to make it better sooner (IE: he started pullin ADS shit on my ass, IT NEVER WORKED FOR ME OR ANYONE ELSE THAT I WAS IN THERE WITH). I told him that he didn't know what it was like, then he started bitching to me about how his brother used to be a coke addict and that he knew exactly what it was like. I hung up on him because he was being an ass. The next day he had talked to Palumbo about how if I said anything happened between me and Maynard that he would let Palumbo know about it. Well, nothing happened with Maynard but Patrick Ramsey is another story. Somehow we got him to believe that I got to party with the Skins after they had won. I told Carlos that Maynard took me to this hotel party that the Skins were having and that I got trashed and slept with Ramsey. Then I convinced him that I was having Ramsey's baby. Carlos told Palumbo, Palumbo called me and we started laughing histerically at how stupid Carlos really is. THE REASON WE DID THIS: Everyone HATES Carlos because he would pretend to be your best friend and then turn around and stab you in the back.
Another story...
This girl at my school who's 15 is dating this guy who's 22. There's this other guy who's 17 (also at my school). WHAT HAPPENED: This girl and this guy have been having problems because their families don't like eachother because he's black and she's Greek. Her family took him to court for statatory rape when they found out they were together. Then a while after that they started fighting again (this time without their parents). So the girl went out to a party, got drunk and had sex with this other guy. (At first he was like "No you have a boyfriend" and she was like" No we broke up". They hadn't broken up, they were just fighting.) She went back to her boyfriend the next day, continued to fight and told him that she had had sex with this other guy. He hit her, she left and a few days later went to another party. ONE GUESS WHAT HAPPENED THERE... That's right... she had sex with this other guy again! Then she went back to her boyfriend in an attempt to save their relationship and was like, "I never tried to have sex with this other guy, he came on to me and was trying to rape me" and she said all this other shit. Then her boyfriend got mad and went and found this other guy and beat the crap out of him. So the other guy just got out of the hospital, and her boyfriend is being charged with Assult, Battery, and Attempted Murder.

Ok, so maybe I lied when I said nothing interesting was happening. But you have to admit, those are some really freaky things that happened.

Christmas was amazing!!!

Christmas this year was so amazing! I got a car and now I can go out whenever I want. It was great I got to see my cousins and all my family. I have almost nothing to do during break but I am going to see my cousin tomorrow. I hope we can go country line dancing, since her boyfriend won't go with her I think it would be fun if I went.
Merrifield is really slow right now so I have to look for another job, but I will be going back in March. I just don't know where to apply. If someone reads this and they have any ideas, I would love to hear them. (That means you, Alex!)

Rome?!

Kevin came up to me again today with one of his girl problems, i listen but I don't want to hear them because I like him. Then after that, he told me that tonight was the night that his dad decided to turn down or accept his job in Rome. If his dad accepts then he would leave in two months. I'm happy for him and his family, I really am, but I don't want him to go. What hurt me the most was when he said he could have a whole new life in Rome, then he could forget about everything that he knew here. I was about to cry, I don't want him to forget about everything, I want him to remember me.
What does someone do when the person they care about most is moving to a country half-way around the world? How do you tell them you love them without making them feel like you are saying it because they are leaving? (Kevin is one of the best friends I have, I can talk to him about anything. And now he wants to forget about everything if he moves?!) How do you make them understand without them thinking you are putting them on a guilt trip? Am I being selfish for not wanting him to leave? Maybe I am, maybe I'm afraid of losing someone I can talk to about anything and tell all my problems to. I don't know what I would do without him, I'm sure I would be just fine after a few weeks. But what happens within those few weeks? What do you do when all you want to do is cry? Should one resort to the habits of cutting? Should one try to keep in contact with the individual that they lost? What happens if he forgets about everything so soon and doesn't remember who I am?
I have to tell him what I am feeling about him wanting a new life without any memories from his friends here, I just want to find the right time, and I don't know when that is. Maybe there is right time to say it, maybe I should just say it and not feel bad about it the next day. I shouldn't feel like he feels like I did it because he was leaving.
I will figure it out when the time comes, until then I will keep it to myself and no one will know but me.

Friday night...

Ok, so Friday night David, Sean and I went to McDoogle's. (It's a strip slub in Maryland, in case you didn't know) We had so much fun! The best part was when the strippers were paying more attention to me than they were to Sean and David. I think we must have gone through like $150-$200 that night.
John Knight was supposed to come with us but he chickened out at the last minute. He said he didn't want to go with Sean at the risk of him telling everyone about it. Then he also said that he wouldn't go with me because I'm a girl. That's ok, he doesn't know it yet, but he's coming with us next weekend. Charlotte and I think Alex is too. (I'll be happy to not be the only girl this time).
I spent Saturday afternoon with Justin and Sunday chillin' at home. I think this Saturday I might go to Apex with Lukas (this time it's a gay club in DC).

I want to get away....

Government is a bullshit class, it's so boring. I'm not saying that I don't learn anything I just don't really like it. Whatever! I can't wait to graduate and get out of this place and down in Florida where I want to be! I don't care, whatever college accepts me I will go to if it means getting out of this place.

Skipping school

I'm skipping school today because the underclassmen have PSATs. Chilling with Michael and RJ, about to go smoke some pot and get krunk.

One night with Lukas (and the story of my life...)

Actually, it's nothing like that... he's gay.
I'm currently hanging out at his house, we went in the hot tub earlier this evening. It was amazing! It felt so good with the cool rain falling on my head. We watched movies and ate a bunch of junk food. I love hanging out with him, he's the only one I can talk to about other guys and not get an "I REALLY DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS..." from.
I have to go to driving school for the ticket I got back in July, it really sucks. But whatever, they're going to dismiss the case so I'll do whatever it takes to not have my insurance sky rocket.
I'm going to visit my cousin soon and we're going to get shitfaced! There's some country line dancing club she wants me to go to. I don't mind I love to dance, and since Tyler is too scared I guess it's my duty to help her out. I can't wait!!

School is going ok. Senior skip day is coming up that will be fun, not that I don't skip already... but hey. I spend all my time talking to Michael these days, we fight a lot but he's pretty cool. His friend RJ is kind of a dumb ass though.
Dad almost kicked me out of the house the other day for not coming home again. I told him I was at Michael's but he still got mad.
Hannah and I are planning another night out at the club when I visit, since we're both 18 and there's really nothing else to do in PA.
Classes suck this year! Programming is the worst, I don't understand a single thing we do in there. I think it's pointless but my guidance counselor thinks it's good for me. English sucks because Ms. Bart is a bitch! She kirks out at the littlest things and when she does something wrong she blames it on us. Whatever, this is the last year I have to worry about all this shit. College is going to be great, I don't have to go to class if I don't want to and the teachers don't give a rats ass!
I applied to 10 different colleges but I'm hoping to get into FSU or Shippensburg. Although the University of Arizona looks pretty interested in what I have to offer. But I really want that apartment with Hannah in Shippensburg(Tyler will probably move in with us too). We'll see how everything plans out after senior year is through.

Last few weeks of summer

These last few weeks of summer are bitter sweet. Kevin is leaving for college in two weeks, GOD I will miss him so. Half of my friends were seniors last year so they already graduated. This year will be amazing though! I'M A SENIOR!!
I talked to Danny the other night. He bitched at me like no tomorrow. I guess I deserved it. I wish he would just sit down and talk to me and tell me his feelings while I tell him mine. He always wants to talk about something new that is happening in my life. So the next time I talk to him I'll tell him about my new tattoo, my speeding ticket, how I almost wrecked the car, and how I officially hate the town that he lives in.
Whatever, it's not like he's going to come on here and read my entries. I don't know what he would think of me if he did.
Pittsburgh this year was amazing! Hannah and I painted our faces black and painted a yellow "P" in the middle. It was cool, the parrot dude came around and "hailed" to us and gave us a hug.
Eddie gave me a lesson on therspy 101 today. It felt good actually, even though I wouldn't tell him what was really wrong it still felt good to cry. I never knew it could help this much, I feel a lot better.

First Weekend....

This is the first weekend where I can sleep in to Monday and not have to worry about going back to school for 3 months. I love it!
I worked an 8 hour shift today, it wasn't that bad. Good friends (who are also my co-workers) kept me company.
Bryant and I are becoming rather close, we went out to lunch together. I got food for Mikey and then the three of us too our break.
Arlington is a crazy place. I took 66 and almost got lost. That's bad, considering I live right by it. I don't care though, I got to take Bryant home and got to go out for a while, so I was happy.

SCHOOL IS OUT!!!!!

School is finally out, and now I'm a senior! Today was the last day and I skipped it. Hehe.. I skipped so much this year, I'm surprised I didn't fail.
I had to get my car inspected today... NOT FUN. I was waiting for like 2 hours. Well, I went to Landmark Mall with Joey to pass the time so it wasn't that bad.
I smoked with David and Carlos yesterday. (I'm so glad Carlos if off probation!) I drove stoned and I still got to work on time. How amazing is that?
Summer time... oooh la la... the best time of all to do absolutely nothing! I still need to talk to Danny.

It's Sunday... ugh...shcool tomorrow!

School is almost over... ONE WEEK LEFT... THAT'S 5 DAYS... COUNT 'EM... 5 DAYS! I say FUCK YOU to all the people who are seniors or who go to different schools who got out earlier than I am. I'm so sick of school... I want it to end.
Anyway, I had a lot of fun this weekend. Chris's house was fun! Except for when he ditched me to go smoke with Alex and Christine, leaving me with Craig and Darrius. (I think that's his name, I never really caught it). I got so fucking wasted and high... it was insane.

For my friends that know my personal life... I saw Kevin today! That's right, you guessed it! God, he's so hot! I don't know what I'm gonna do when he leaves for college in the fall. Well, we went to a park and had lots of "fun". (Should I really be posting this... is he, by some chance, going to see this and think I'm weird?) Oh well, you know I love you Kevin.
I had yet another weekend off, NO WORK = LOTS OF FUN!!! It's slow during the summer, money's gonna be a little tight. It's ok, I'll manage.
Summer is finally just around the corner, I love it!
Oh, Micah... STFU. Just kidding... you know I love you. You, Shawna, and I should each get a friend and all of us go to the Vienna Inn. BEFORE YOU LEAVE! I'm not waiting forever to go out and have fun with you.

Bored and alone...

I'm bored as hell, sitting at home with nothing to do. I'm so lonely. My school is so empty now, no more seniors. They didn't even have a good prank this year, taking over the junior lot with "wacky parking" was stupid. The best part was seeing all the juniors pissed off because they couldn't park in their spaces and all the seniors getting tickets.
Criminal Justice isn't much fun now, 1/2 the class came from other schools and 1/2 of the 1/2 that was left (if that made any sense at all) were seniors. Today there was a total of 8 people (including Mr. Birch) in the classroom. I'm gonna miss Rajai, Chris, Liz and Sam the most, they were hilarious. I get to see Sam and Chris next year though, so it's all good.
Kevin's having a graduation party tomorrow from 4-8. They'll probably end up at the Vienna Inn by the end of the night.
Danny's graduating and going off to college. There's so much I need to tell him, to talk to him about. I think he has his own place now, at least that's what it sounds like. We definately have to chill sometime soon.

6 days and counting...

God, I fucking hate school. ALL the seniors are gone! KBW and NAH... off to college, forgetting old friends. Fuck this shit, man! Well, at least there are only 6 days left! Oh man, I can't wait... summer is gonna kick ass! The pool with Kevin, sailing with Kae and Carlos, "making pancakes" with Dave, getting "FUBAR" with James and the gang. I'm gonna travel cross country with Dave, Hannah, and Ty. Jay: Don't forget the "protecion"... LOL (inside joke). Micah, take care of yourself... KILL THOSE FUCKERS AND COME HOME SAFE!! Joey: Quit that fucking job and have a life for once. Kevin: Congrats man, you're graduating! I'm gonna miss you so much. I love you. Please keep in touch. Nick: Congrats to you too man. Best wishes to you guys at college.